Limited Beliefs Leading to Mental Instability

We are raised with a limited belief system. From a young age, we are asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Not realizing that this question may have some cute and funny responses, but in a way, it is limiting because what you hear is usually career-related. This is just one way to shape and direct children's thoughts. Although I believe that children need guidance, that is a huge part of parenting - the parent can only teach as far as they know, and their role is everlasting as it leaves embedded imprints in the child's identity.

Our parents or caregivers shape our thought patterns from childhood to adulthood.

Parents, especially those of older generations, were raised in a narrower belief system than the one they raised you in. Surprisingly, some have done the inner work and are now allowing their children to see life beyond any possible means they could have imagined. They have experienced the outcomes of loveless marriages and suppressed their feelings about their husbands' or wives' actions.

The limits continue due to certain cultural traditions and limitations around the world. We still witness parents asking the same questions to their children, but is it just about that question? Of course not. Take a step back and see this from a broader perspective.

We are somehow under the impression that parents should know better when, in fact, this is far from the truth.

Parents, especially young ones, are growing up alongside you. They do not always know better. They are experiencing many things for the first time through you. But they lack an honest and transparent relationship with you to tell you this crucial information. They fear they will lose your respect or you will dismiss their existence. So, they rather hide.

They can hide a ton of information from you. Some are better at this than others. And, yes, parents can lie. Depending on who raised them and their limited belief system that may have instilled fear in them, parents can lie to their children about various things, even how they met their spouse, why they got married, and if they had any past relationships before marriage. They can manipulate the truth to suit them as they wish and at the cost of others. They may lie if they have experienced any abuse or lie about being abused. Some families have darker secrets, such as murder, theft, or a spouse who is an undocumented pedophile, and the list goes on. This can include anything they find detrimental. Parents do not just fear losing you in one way. There are so many ways. Then, of course, some are the exception to the rule—and they do end up marrying who they indeed wanted to marry, and as much as they try to lead good and healthy lives—they have to master life through the envy of those that did not because misery is a very real thing that will not settle until they see you on its level.

One of the biggest and most common issues mothers face is not marrying the man they wanted to marry - due to social class or because their parents had other plans. Some have navigated multiple relationships and understand what you're experiencing as a young adult today and the pain of heartbreak, even if they don't openly share this. You'll notice them silently weeping and offering the advice they wish someone had once given them. Seeing you hurt not only causes them pain because you are hurting but also because your trauma inadvertently reopens their old wounds. They endure this deeply and in silence, which can lead to isolation, depression, anxiety, and anger towards their current partner while navigating this whirlwind.

Parents may hesitate to share certain things because they fear losing your respect.

Instead, they might use someone else as an example, highlighting the flaws of a person you know or admire. They may use them as bait without knowing all the details or if the information is accurate. They may exaggerate to prove a point. They do this to instill fear so you do not follow the path they are on and for personal reasons. Many parents (depending on their personality) want you to see them as the perfect role model. You have to understand that parents have feelings and needs just like you. They experience emotions such as anger, jealousy, and envy. You are their product, and if you understand DNA, you recognize that your feelings and experiences have origins. Just as generational trauma is passed down through our genes, and recent studies indicate that stress from the father can be present in sperm, it's evident—the apple does not fall far from the tree. It is rare but not impossible. But where does all this lead?

Many children confidently reparent themselves in young or late adulthood, breaking free from the toxic environments they were raised in by individuals who never had the chance to realize their potential. Therefore, children face first-time turbulence without a proper role model or guidance, so they turn to their friends, who are probably just as lost but have each other.

Still, these children, rightfully angry, recognize that something crucial is missing, even if they can't yet pinpoint it. They were brought up on a foundation of deceit. How can a child distinguish the truth when their supposed truth is a lie? They strive to be authentic, yet fear has been deeply ingrained in them from a young age.

Fear of societal judgment, fear of making incorrect career choices, fear of marrying the wrong person, or not being married by a certain age—after all, aren't these considered significant milestones in life?

It is not for many young adults until their reality is shattered that they can see the truth. It starts by questioning everything you were confident about. These individuals need time to reaccess, and often, they go through isolation, depression, anxiety, and anger. For some, the outcome is critical and chronic. Please give them the space they deserve! Children, after all, are attached to their caregiver/parent, who has been primarily in their life; they will come around, but never the same.

The best answers are HAPPY, HEALTHY, and FULFILLED; that is what you should want your kids to be when they grow up. That may look very different for everyone.